So confused, during 2 days, I did 5 pregnancy tests which all came out positive
On the 2nd of September I went to my sexual health clinic and took a pregnancy test. The pregnancy test came out positive and I remember I didn't even feel a thing I didn't feel happy or sad. As soon as I left I texted my ex to tell him I was pregnant. He asked what I wanted to do and I said I wanted to get an abortion. When I got home I booked an appointment for an abortion for the Thursday.
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When I went for the appointment the doctor did an ultrasound but she told me she couldn't find anything and she told me I should do another pregnancy test, which then also came out negative. I found the whole situation so confusing that when I got home, during the course of 2 days, I did 5 pregnancy tests which all came out positive.
On the 10th I booked an appointment with my GP and my doctor wrote me a letter so I could go to the early pregnancy unit at the hospital to do an internal exam.
I remember that when the doctor showed me my baby I was so upset because I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore like regardless of anything, that was my baby even though the dad didn't want to have the baby.
For 11 days I was thinking what my life would be like if I had the baby. I'm 19 and I'm still going to college and my goal right now is to go to university.
I still considered abortion. I considered doing the medical abortion but by the time I decided to go along with it, I was 7 weeks pregnant and my baby had a little heartbeat. I couldn't do the medical abortion as just the thought of me flushing my child down the toilet made me cry so much. So I decided to go with a surgical abortion where I will be put to sleep and I won't be seeing my baby at all.
The night before my abortion I remember crying so much. I felt like I was doing something which I didn't want to do but had no choice but to do it.
I texted my ex that day saying I'm sorry but I don't think I can go along with the procedure. He called me right after and for an hour and a half he kept saying he can't be a dad at the age of 19, he can't drop out of university as he worked so hard to get there.
When the phone call ended I realised that I can't bring my child to a world where his or her dad doesn't want them. I want to able to give my child everything and I can't do that at the age of 19.
I felt that was the best choice. I didn't feel any pain and I didn't have to see my baby.
When I woke up after the procedure I was just crying because I was so upset that I had to have an abortion with my first child, but later on, I realised that I did a good thing. My baby deserves to be loved so much by both parents and hopefully will be when the time is right. So the next day I went to a BPAS centre and had a surgical abortion.
Terms mentioned in this story
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- Surgical Abortion
Surgical abortion is a medical procedure to remove the pregnancy from the womb.
There are three ways in which a woman may undergo the procedure:
Local anaesthetic (awake but things are numbed)
Conscious sedation (awake but relaxed due to having been given a sedative)
General anaesthetic (completely asleep).
There are also two methods of carrying out a surgical abortion depending on the stage of pregnancy:
Vacuum or suction aspiration where a tube is inserted through the entrance to the womb (the cervix) and on into the womb. The pregnancy is then removed through the tube using suction.
Dilation and evacuation (D&E) where special instruments called forceps are inserted through the cervix and into the womb to remove the pregnancy.
Medical abortion refers to the taking of medication to end a pregnancy and usually takes place over two stages. The first stage is where a medicine called mifepristone stops a hormone that allows the pregnancy to continue. The second stage, usually 24-48 hours later, is where a second medicine, called misoprostol, is used to cause the lining of the womb to break down causing bleeding and the loss of the pregnancy.
Medical abortion doesn't require surgery but sometimes not all of the tissue is passed and may require a small surgical procedure to remove further remnants of pregnancy tissue.
This story was sent in on 22/09/2015