Finding I was pregnant scared me a lot, I was in denial but soon came to terms with it

I had a medical abortion 3 days ago. I am only 17, in college, and finding out I was pregnant scared me a lot.

At first I was in denial because it was a cheap pregnancy test my friend had got me, but I soon came to terms with it.

My boyfriend and I discussed what we would do. We have an amazing relationship and we wanted to keep it because we both love children, but we knew we couldn't.

I wanted to finish college and we'd never be able to financially support a child. Also my mother told me a few months ago if I ever got pregnant she'd kick me out.

So we decided on abortion.

My boyfriend wanted me to have surgical abortion because it would be a painless procedure and done quickly, but I wanted medical because it would be within my own home, and the only clinic that offered surgical was too far away.

Once we made the appointment and had gone to the clinic I felt a little better.

I had an assessment and I was 6 weeks pregnant. I took the first pill then and there and went home feeling fine.

The next day I went back to the clinic and took the next set of pills, sometimes the second pill/s are inserted vaginally but at my clinic it was oral. I had to keep 4 pills under my upper lip for 30 minutes and then swallow.

My boyfriend drove me home and he left me because he had plans. I was rather upset he left me to face this all on my own because I couldn't talk to anyone. When the pain started it was like a normal period pains.

Within half an hour I was in utter agony, and this lasted for around 2-3 hours

But I put a hot water bottle on my stomach which eased the pain greatly. Once the pain was over bleeding started it wasn't too bad just like having a heavy period.

When my boyfriend came over I told him how I had needed him and he felt really bad and stayed round that night to make sure I was okay.

The next day I was fine and the day after I started feeling some lower abdominal pain, so today I am going to the doctors for fear of infection. But in all the chaos I hadn't had a chance to reflect on what happened, and I broke into tears and me and my boyfriend lay crying for hours.

We wished we didn't have to have got rid of our child

I think this will always be with us and it will always make me wonder if I could've done it but I do not regret my decision.

If you are considering medical abortion, it is a longer process than surgical, much more painful but some clinics let you go home. The pain I experienced was eased with a hot water bottle and once passed it was fine.

I would advise not to be alone whilst going through this I was a wreck because of being alone. I needed someone with me to look after me.

This story was sent in on 25/07/2011 and it's been viewed 1,900 times.

Editor's comment

It must have been horrible going through this by yourself, and I'm glad your boyfriend is now supporting you.

There is sometimes a risk of infection if the abortion is not complete, so you are wise to get this checked out at your surgery.

Experiencing emotional effects after an abortion can sometimes take you by surprise, but the fact that you would have loved to continue the pregnancy is likely to affect you with some feelings of regret and sadness. If you would like to talk to someone about this you can get free help and post-abortion support from a centre near you.

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