I went to Planned Parenthood - my medical abortion experience is not at all what I expected

I am 27 years old, married for 7 years, and mom to a brilliant 5 year old boy. I knew I was pregnant right away - my breasts were SO tender, I was nauseous, everything smelled weird, and I was exhausted all the time. I even took a few pregnancy tests too early that came out negative, and kept re-testing every few days until I got that positive result.

My husband and I would have never considered abortion before. He's pretty religious, and I just never thought I would be faced with such a choice... but in our current state, we both agreed that we just weren't ready for another baby and that we liked our family of 3.

The idea of starting all over again with an infant was terrifying lol... especially since our son finally just made it into kindergarten. We didn't want two kids so far apart in age.

Our decision was made... but when I made a call to place the appointment, I had to wait like 3 weeks to get in. That waiting time was HELL. I started to get really depressed and feel guilty. I read articles, blogs, and watched youtube videos of girls sharing their painful experiences.

I began to fear that I would never forgive myself. That my life would be changed forever. I went to church with my husband, and it happened that coincidentally that service was about how God "knits you in your mother's womb" and how abortion is murder, etc.

I was so devastated that I left in the middle of service and walked home. That is when I really evaluated myself and the situation... I realized that the guilt and shame and sadness are what society and everyone else TELLS YOU TO FEEL.

When I strip away all the outside influences and taboo of it all and feel my own soul, I didn't feel guilt or sadness or shame. I felt indifferent.... nothing really. I realized that I could choose to take on the world's negativity and conform to what they want me to feel, or I could just be myself - my strong, smart, powerful, confident self. Waiting out the rest of the days until the appointment was easy after that.

My husband came to the appointment with me. I was cool, calm, and collected and he was a nervous wreck. I probably should not have brought him along... I had to constantly remind him that everything is okay haha.

I went to Planned Parenthood and all the staff was incredibly nice and compassionate. I joked with the medical assistants, discussed hobbies, made small chat, etc. It was quite pleasant.

The appointment was a few hours long - mostly counseling. I opted for a medical abortion because I have a fear of surgical instruments near me after giving birth to my first child lol. Besides, I liked the idea of completing the process at home.

I had an ultrasound and they gave us the choice to view the image. We both declined. I was 6 weeks, 5 days, and the doctor told me the embryo was very small.

Eventually, the appointment came to an end and I took the initial pill. I felt relieved to be over with the visit... my husband was bumming out bad, so I took him to the china buffet to gorge his sorrows away.

I felt nothing after the first pill - which is a drug to block pregnancy hormones and cause the embryo to detach from the lining of the uterus.

I filled a prescription for antibiotics, Ibuprofen 800, and Tylenol-3 at the pharmacy and went home with the second set of pills to take the next day.

Today is the day that I took the second set of pills and I've documented the experience. Basically, it's not AT ALL what I expected.... aka it was like practically painless and not a big deal whatsoever.

11:30 am 
I took the 2 antibiotics and an ibuprofen 800 and Tylenol-3 to "prep" myself.

11:45 am 
I inserted 2 misoprostol pills on each side of my cheeks. This way of taking the medicine is called buccal. I was advised to do it this way because the pills can cause flu-like symptoms and they said if I swallowed the pills, then vomit, it might not allow enough medicine to enter my body.

This buccal method allows the pills to just sit between your cheeks and gums like a chipmunk and dissolve into your blood. I had to keep the pills there for 30 minutes, then wash any remaining pill tidbits down with water. The pills had no flavor, but they were chalky and dissolved pretty fast.

12:30 pm 
I think I might be feeling some slight cramps, but it might be in my head. Just watching Netflix waiting around for something to happen.

12:45 pm 
I go to the bathroom and when I wipe, there is a tiny amount of light pink blood on the toilet paper... like as if I just started my period.

1:30 pm 
Definitely feeling cramps now, but it's not bad. It's like day 1 of a bad period. Bleeding is getting more consistent.

2:30 pm 
Feeling stronger cramps, but nothing I can't handle. It's a consistent ache that you grow used to. It just feels like a super bad period. I take another Tylenol 3 because I'm a chicken and don't know if this will get worse or not. I can feel blood coming out here and there - but it's not more than day 1 of a period.

3:30 pm 
Cramps decreasing. Small surges of blood and very small clots of blood in the toilet. Nothing as gross as I expected. I feel like the worst is over... but I'm also left wondering "is this really it? did it work?"

4:00 pm 
No pain anymore... moderate bleeding. big blood surges have stopped. I've been super thirsty and drinking a ton of water... not sure if it's a side effect of the medication or losing blood.

6:00 pm 
Bored... want to move around. I cook some food... no pain. I feel like I'm on my period. There was never any moment where I felt like I "passed the pregnancy" as they call it... but did have a few larger clots in the toilet that might have been it? I fell asleep watching American Horror story around 11 PM...

4:00 am 
I just woke up... I still feel no pain and am bleeding lightly. I can't even relay enough how easy this was.

My husband's been mopey and weird all day - I just told him to get out of the house and go do something to take his mind off it. I had to keep reassuring him that I am not sad and I feel totally fine. This has been a piece of cake experience. For those freaking out about it like I once did, DON'T.

I can't tell you how to feel emotionally, but when it comes to the medical aspect of things, this was no worse than a super bad period. I was afraid of all the clots and tissue they said I would pass... but that was like not very much at all... and it usually only came out when I went to the bathroom and I never really had to see it because it just went in the toilet.

I have an appointment next Saturday to make sure the pregnancy was in fact terminated... but already I feel better. I don't feel nauseous or tired... I'm feeling back to normal. YES!

This story was sent in on 10/10/2015

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