I didn't realise how important the emotional recovery after abortion is

I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of my second academic year at university.

I rang my partner and told him, we live together in the same house with friends and he was away.

Unfortunately we rushed through the panic and process of an abortion.

I was early and about 6 weeks gone by the time I had the abortion and unfortunately it took place on my 21st birthday in November. I knew it was the right thing to do, but did not realise I would get depressed again afterwards and tried to ignore it.

I didn't tell my parents, and thought it was just a glitch in life that was sad but that I would get over. 5 months on, and I'm leaving university and starting my second year again in September.

Ignoring the grieving process was the worst thing I could have done

As much of a set back this is for me academically, my abysmal grades and attitude was due to the depression, which I'd suffered once before after a horrific accident in my teenage life.

I knew it was coming and I knew there was something wrong with me, but I did not cope with the guilt well. Eventually it started to take over, and as I realised academically I was scraping passes and emotionally I was taking it out on my partner I woke up.

I told my mother, who promptly came up the next day to see me, I went to the doctors and have been on prozac for 2 weeks now. I also have meetings on Monday to postpone my studies and start again.

Abortion is so traumatic

I am pro-choice for every woman that wants to have an abortion, but I personally did not realise how hard it would be to cope with. It affected the social and academic part of my life for a good few months, and just sat there waiting for me to deal with it.

I do not know if I could go through it again, and I am terrified of having children in case it is all too much.

I know the world goes around and I see myself as very sensible and head strong, but my abortion grind ed me down emotionally.

The importance of the road to recovery after abortion

I wouldn't be able to stress enough if I ever had to give advice to a friend, the importance of the road to recovery after an abortion. Whether people think 6 weeks is nothing when you are pregnant, it is very much the emotional and physical changes before and after the abortion that matter.

I biologically miss being pregnant so much and I biologically grieve and think about it most days.
But I logically know what's done is done, and I hope I am never in this situation again.

This story was sent in on 10/05/2010

Editor's comment

It was brave of you to write how your abortion had affected you, and I hope it helps others to know that they are not alone in experiencing physical and emotional effects after this procedure.

For some women, it is life changing and takes time to work through their thoughts and feelings. If you need help in this situation please follow the link to find a centre for post-abortion support in your area.

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