I found out I was pregnant with a very much unplanned 3rd child three weeks ago. I already have 2 beautiful children (1 and a half and 3 and a half) and I am married to my long term partner of almost 14 years. Nontheless, I find managing a home, two very small children and a demanding job as a part time teacher a handful. My husband and I both felt the same - that this was the wrong time in our lives to have another baby. We knew that we could manage if we had to, and that we would make it ok and love our surprise third, but that it would be too much a struggle emotionally and financially, and that the needs of our two very young children were more important.
I requested a medical termination
I left myself a week and a half to think it through, then we went to see my GP to request a termination. He referred me to bpas, and I completed a medical termination yesterday. I would have been 7 weeks pregnant today. The medical termination was unbelievably straight forward. I had three visits to the bpas clinic. The first was for a consultation where they scanned me to confirm dates and completed the necessary paperwork, then booked the termination. The second was to take the abortion pill (last Sunday). I was very nervous and upset about this, as I knew that after this there was no going back. In the end it was fine, except for a little nausea. The third visit was yesterday, where I was given 4 tablets to place in my vagina to complete the termination. I came straight home, then started to bleed an hour and a half later, like a period at first, then heavier. I had the urge to pee, and about 3 hours after I had placed the pills I had a gush of blood into the toilet and this happened twice more after that. Then the bleeding started to settle, and now its like a very heavy period. There has been no pain, just some very mild cramps like period pain for which I used ibuprofen and a hot water bottle. I had been terified of seeing an embryo and what to do with it when it came out, but the nurse had advised me that it was unlikely I would see anything as the first abortion pill breaks the embryo down, and in fact this was the case - all there was to see were a few small blood clots. I hope this post helps reassure some of you.
The Right to Judge
I do not think anyone has the right to judge me - they do not know what they would do in the same circumstances, and everybody's circumstances are unique. I have always been pro-choice, but never thought I would let myself get into this situation (how wrong could I be!!?). You can upset yourself by reading too much stuff on the internet - if you look hard enough you will always find someone to tell you what you want to hear, or someone who strongly believes the opposite of you and there are some gory stories out there too re abortion. Now I am not pregnant anymore and can resume my life as before. I can't advise anyone what to do - I can only tell you that in my case termination was the right decision, and much less traumatic than I thought it would be.
Thank you for telling us your experience. As you say, everyone's story is different and the physical effects will vary according to your stage of pregnancy, your own physical reaction to pain, as well as your emotional and psychological state, and how much support you have. I'm sure each person's experience is valid in its own right including yours. Careconfidential is always available for help, support, advice and information 0300 4000 999,find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.